What can I learn from parents?

last updated:March 2009

What do parents want to say to you as a teacher? These suggestions are offered by Jo Yarnall, whose daughter Hannah has Down's syndrome. Jo helps to run PROUD, a Down's syndrome support group on Facebook.

Comments recorded by Dr. Rob Rodgers of Education Walsall:

• Parents are only trying to do what they think is best for their child.
• Parents of children with special needs are likely to need more reassurance that parents of typically developing children.
• When discussing their child with special needs, always try to start with something positive and end with something positive.
• Remember that each child with special needs/Down's syndrome is unique and should be treated as an individual.
• Parents are encouraged to hear that teachers/professionals are going on training courses and are seeking help in order to help their child better.  It makes us feel that you are genuinely concerned for our children.  It’s not shameful for a professional to seek advice.
• Remember to keep parents informed so that they feel included in what’s happening with their child, don't just assume that a parent knows what’s going on or understands.  Be careful to explain and make sure that the parents are happy with what’s going on. This includes also letting parents know who is going to be at any meeting to do with their child in advance (not when they arrive at the meeting).
• Remember that as parents we can get emotional about wanting the best for our children and if we get upset please allow us to do so and give us some space to compose ourselves as we talk.
• Parents get stressed and tired, we don't want confrontation.
• Sometimes you can find a solution to a problem that does not involve spending a lot of money or time, but just looking at it from a different point of view and using some imagination and inspiration.
• Parents are with their children 24/7 and can be experts on their children, pleaselisten to us so that our children can benefit from it.
• Parents would like to think that they are intelligent people so don't use jargon in meetings but explain things fully as it can feel a bit intimidating.
• Make sure at meetings that everyone gets to speak about the child including the parents and make sure everyone is listened to.

Tips for communicating with parents

Offered by Chrissie Grainger of Linden School, Walsall, from a personal and professional perspective. Comments recorded by Dr Rob Rodgers:

• Feedback on a daily basis on how the day has gone: please pass on the positive as well as the negative. This could be done through home/school book or face to face if the child is picked up from school.
• Give parents information if there is going to be a change at school such as a change of curriculum activities.
• Be honest at all times: this may initially be stressful but in the bigpicture it will bond trusting relationships between school and home.
• Confidentiality is key: parents have to know that they can trust you.
• Be non-judgemental: give parents the opportunity to disclose or question anything.
• No professional jargon: explain acronyms and explain any necessary terms.
• If staff are going to be on a course please let parents know in advance if possible and introduce supply teacher if possible.
• Advise parents to write any issues or problems they have down before a meeting: many parents have lots of questions which need answering but inevitably some are forgotten as soon as a meeting starts.
• Always listen. Parents know their children better than anyone. Make sure parents' views are valued and acted upon or good reasons are given if they can not be.
• Share information about any multi-agency involvement straight away - this can be overlooked unintentionally if not done immediately.